


Take Me As I Am

by psychicdreamsandangelwings



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Rick, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Daryl Has Issues, Daryl's Father Is A Dick, Daryl's Father's A+ Parenting, Daryl's Past, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Merle is a Good Brother, Omega Daryl, Patient Rick, Protective Rick, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreamsandangelwings/pseuds/psychicdreamsandangelwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Daryl presented, his father would lock him alone in a bare room during his heats in an attempt to curb his omega status. Years later Daryl's traumatized memories still influence his reaction to his heats. He tries to ignore his instincts, submitting and admitting he's not in control isn't something he's good at, but so far his attempts have been futile. At least he's got Rick, his patient mate who understands and accepts Daryl as he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Flashback

_The first thing Daryl notices when he wakes up is the sticky feeling of his skin. His room is dark, the window open to let some cool air in, and he can hear the sounds of crickets outside his window. There’s not a single inch of his body that isn’t on fire and it doesn’t take him long to realize just what's going on. The sheets beneath him are soaked in cold sweat, his thighs are coated in slick, the smell of omega in heat permeates overwhelmingly through the air._

_There’s a throbbing, unbearable, need that extends from his ass to just above his navel that is slowly expanding to envelop his entire body. His fingers twitch at his sides and his toes curl of their own accord, movements triggered by the heat he's been thrust into. As the seconds tick by his feelings slowly start to increase and he knows it won’t be long before his instinctual need replaces every one of his rational thoughts. No matter how hard he fights it, his heat will take over everything._

_His body is sensitive to even the slightest touch, whether it be fabric or hands, and his clothes quickly become too much for him to handle. He stands up and strips until he's naked, throwing the sweat soaked clothes into the corner of his room, before he makes his way over towards his desk. One of the drawers has a false bottom where he keeps everything he doesn’t want his dad finding. His father has no boundaries when it comes to Daryl's belongings and he'll take whatever he pleases without a second thought._

_He opens the drawer and takes out a fake knot, wrapping his hand tightly around the smooth silicone. It's cold and heavy and he feels another line of slick slip down his thighs as his body senses what's about to come. He doesn’t have much time, his father will notice what’s happening soon enough and come barging in, and he’s got to make it fast. If he can get off at least once he’ll be able to take the edge off his heat and make it easier to handle. He knows it won’t satisfy his urges completely, but it will make the rest of his heat go much better._

_Daryl hears his father stirring in the room next to him and quickly carries the fake knot over to his bed. Merle has always been more accepting of his status than his father has and had gotten him one a week after he had presented. His father had been furious and thrown it out, leaving Daryl alone and in agony during his first heat. Once Merle had found out what Will had done he bought Daryl another one, serious in supporting his brother through everything._

_The one Daryl’s got in his hands right now is the fourth one Merle has bought for him since he presented a little over a year ago. Every time Will throws one away Merle makes sure he replaces it with another one. Daryl reckons it’s his way of apologizing for running out on him and leaving him with a father that would sooner sell his son for a lousy bottle of whiskey than allow him any sort of pleasure._

_Daryl lays back in bed, hips propped up on a pillow with his feet flat against the bed. He's got to do this as fast as possible if he wants to get it down by the time his father comes to investigate. He’s only just placed the knot against his hole when Will barges through the room, causing Daryl to let out a tiny whimper of need. He wasn’t able to give himself any sort of pleasure and Daryl knows that means the next few days are going to be an unimaginable hell for him. Heats are bad enough to handle, but when you're only a teenager and are locked up with nothing to satisfy yourself it becomes damn near impossible to function properly._

_"Yer fuckin' stinkin' up the whole damned house,” Will bellows, striding over to Daryl’s bed so he can take the knot from him. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the neighbors could smell how much of a pathetic omega ya're, that's how strong your scent is.”_

_Will takes a second to look down at Daryl, eyes staring at his slick-covered thighs. “You smell just like your Mama, all sweet and innocent,” he says, running a finger across his bare thigh before he sticks it in his mouth. “Mmm, and you taste just as sweet as she did. One of these days I’m gonna have you for myself, gonna knot you just like your desperate hole is aching for. Until then you’ll be stuck in the cellar until your body gets control of itself once again.”_

_Will grips Daryl’s hand tightly in his and pulls him up, wrenching his shoulder so hard Daryl’s surprised he doesn’t dislocate it. Will’s cold hand feels good against Daryl’s heated skin and he’s ashamed to admit that the contact made him shiver. His body is aching for any type of contact and he can’t help the way he’s feeling._

_Will drags Daryl through the house and into the basement. He unlocks the room he refers to as the cellar on the far side of the basement and throws Daryl inside. Will doesn’t say anything as Daryl tumbles to the ground. He watches him for a few more seconds, Daryl has no idea what he’s thinking about, before he steps back out of the room and shuts and locks the heavy metal door without another word._

_By now Daryl’s heat is almost in full swing. His body hurts, literally **hurts** , and he wishes there was something, anything, in the room that he could use to satisfy the painful ache he’s experiencing right now. The room is completely bare however, the walls and floors made out of pure concrete, and there’s nothing Daryl can do as heat pools in his stomach. His hole constricts, seeking out anything to satisfy his intense need, and Daryl uses fingers that are much too short in an attempt to alleviate the ache in anyway._

_It doesn’t work though, just like Daryl knew it wouldn’t, and he’s left alone in a concrete room as his heat ravishes painfully through him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened. This was just a short flashback into Daryl's past and there will be more to come. I still haven't decided how many chapters it'll be, but I know it won't be anything too long. I'm not sure how I feel about this but the idea wouldn't leave my head and I just had to go with it.


	2. The Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter references rape and may be triggering for some people, please refrain from reading if it might trigger you

Daryl bolts up in bed, breath heavy and painful as his mind replays his horrible childhood memories. He remembers the way his Father’s hands felt when they stroked over his heated skin, almost as if he were being scratched with barbed wire, and the way the cold concreate beneath him soaked up all the warmth his body could muster. He remembers the agony his heats caused him, the room he was locked away in with no form of relief, and the day his Father decided he’d start touching him.

The memories hit him full force, he remembers every detail like it was only yesterday, and he has to bite down hard on his tongue to prevent himself from screaming as the rising panic spreads through him like a heroin injection. There’s tongue and teeth and hands all over him, scratching and pinching and clawing away at his protective layer until his raw flesh is exposed and aching.

It takes him a second to realize that though he may be in a cold, concreate, room, he isn’t back at that house with his Father. It was just a nightmarish memory he can’t shake. He’s in the prison, surrounded by people who love him, and in the bed he shares with the man he loves. Rick’s warm body is pressed up against him, something that helps him gain control of his erratic heartbeat and calm down. Rick’s touch, even with it being as subtle as it is, helps ground him and remember where he is.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and wills himself to calm down. Rick is still fast asleep and the only way for him to keep it that way is for him to calm down. He and Rick have been sharing a cell for a year now and Daryl’s perfected the art of a silent scream. He no longer wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming and thrashing at anything that comes near him. His emotions may be the same but his actions never are and he hardly ever wakes Rick up with his nightmares.

Daryl has no idea what time it is but judging from the darkness of his cell and the moonlight that fades in from the nearest window he figures it can’t be any later than three a.m. He’s just calmed himself down enough to get back to sleep when he feels an ache start in his stomach and he tenses up, panic coming back again but for an entirely different reason.

He feels his lower belly start to throb and his thighs twitch as the burning need begins to pool within him. It’s not overwhelming yet, just a little taste of what’s about to happen, and Daryl clenches his hands tightly at his sides, fingernails digging into the soft skin of his palms. He has to bite back a moan and resist the urge to reach down and stroke himself. Daryl knows what’s happening to him, knows that these symptoms mean he’ll be in full heat by the end of tomorrow, and he can’t stand it. He hates his heats, all they do is remind him of a past he wants to repress.

He doesn’t want to wake Rick up right now, he needs every ounce of sleep he can get, and he knows he won’t be able to sleep next to his mate when he’s this close to his heat. He’s not ready for physical contact right now, his skin will be overly sensitive in just a few hours and he knows the slightest touch will have him so far gone he won’t be able to concentrate properly. He’s not ready for that yet, he needs to get his mind on track before he lets Rick help him through it.

Daryl carefully maneuvers himself out of bed, not wanting to wake up Rick, and slips his crossbow over his shoulder. He checks to make sure Rick is okay before he silently pads down the empty corridor outside their cell. He makes his way up the stairs and to the upper half of their cell block. The cells up here are all empty and that makes Daryl feel a little better, the last thing he wants is to be around people right now. He knows Rick would want him to go sleep in one of the unoccupied cells but he can’t sleep in a cell that doesn’t belong to Rick and the tiny rooms remind him too much of what he endured at his father’s hands. He’d much rather avoid that feeling altogether.

Once there he takes off his shirt and lays down in the corner where he knows he won’t be spotted, not bothering to drag out one of the mattresses to sleep on. He doesn’t need comfort right now, he needs relief. His skin is hot and itchy, igniting those instincts of his he tries to keep buried, and the cold metal against his skin does wonders to sooth the heat that engulfs him.

The ache in his belly slowly starts to spread throughout his body and Daryl knows it won’t be long before he’s too far gone to do anything about it. He’ll sleep for a few more hours before he heads out to the woods. Out there he can be alone and try to come to his senses before his hormones get to be too much and he has to come back to get relief from Rick.

He lays like that, letting his skin be cooled down by the smooth metal beneath his back, and is asleep in seconds.

* * *

Rick wakes up the next day and the first thing he notices is that Daryl is not next to him and the bed beside him is cold. He doesn’t think anything of it, Daryl is usually the first one up and it’s not unusual for Rick to wake up alone. It’s not until he rolls out of bed that he notices it. Daryl’s scent is different, sweeter and not as musky as it usually is. He knows that scent, the Alpha inside him craves that scent, and he quickly comes to the realization that Daryl is in the beginning of his heat.

He runs a hand over his face and sighs heavily. Daryl’s heats always affect him negatively, they bring back every bad memory he has from his childhood and there’s absolutely nothing Rick can do to prevent that from happening. He suffered through so many heats when he was a teenager, first completely alone with nothing to alleviate his ache and then with his Father’s brutal touch. Once he got away from that hellhole he was able to use suppressants, but they don’t have them anymore and after nearly twenty years of him repressing his heats they’ve reappeared much worse than they usually would. They're more intense, more painful, and usually last for longer.

Rick shakes his head as he gets dressed, body shaking in barely repressed rage. If he knew where Daryl’s Father was he’d hunt him down and slowly kill him with his bare hands. After everything he’s done to his son, after all the pain and devastation he's caused the man he loves, he deserves nothing more.

Rick steps into the corridor that runs through their cellblock, trying to determine whether or not Daryl is still here or if he’s already taken off. He heads towards the upper cellblock where Daryl usually retreats when he can’t handle everything around him and needs to be alone. He can tell he was there, in the back corner of the catwalk where he can't be spotted unless someone were to walk up there, but his scent is feint and it’s obvious he hasn’t been there in at least an hour, maybe longer.

Rick knows where Daryl is, he’s off in the woods seeking some kind of distraction from what he’s feeling. Rick won’t lie and say he likes it, he hates when Daryl goes off alone when he’s like this. Daryl’s strong, there’s no denying that, but even the strongest succumb to instincts at some point. He can't even think about what would happen if Daryl ran into another Alpha, or worse, a group of Alphas. With everything that’s out there, walkers and humans alike, it’s hard for him not to follow Daryl. 

But Daryl needs to be alone right now and Rick respects that. He needs to sort through his emotions and gain control of himself before he lets Rick in. Rick wants to go to him, comfort his omega, but he won’t. Daryl doesn't need him right now and treating him like he's some helpless thing will only do harm. What Daryl needs more than anything is a sense of independence, a semblance of control, and Rick would never take that away from him, not after everything he's endured. He’ll be here for him, waiting, until he needs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/assbuttrickyl)


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